Shake it off, Let it go,
Be strong, Move on.
The tiny voice within my heart speaks out, whispering to parts of my body. My head starts to spin and think, impulse sent to my fingers. They feel the ting-a-ling feeling. They start to type. So here it goes. Enjoy!=)
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God bless the broken road and continues to lead me through..
Sunday, June 7, 2009, 2:08:00 AM
Holy Molly...It feels really good going back to my home sweet home... I meant my church...
Again,
I've been MIA-ing for a couple of months and every time I take my first step back to church, something in my body just welcomes me back.. Basically, I miss everyone there, all my friends, the music, band and everything... I feel pretty bad too, being a leader in church and not attending church for a quite some times...not quite some times, but I lot of time...I can say about approximately 2months... I feel so lost and empty and words couldn't explain how it feels like that.
But, I can't help it... I knew from the first place once I joined this course, my line, my industry is like that.. I'm pretty sure I got a different type of calling and my ministry might not be in church anymore. This is when I'm really being light of the world. It's really tough. It's like a paradox. It's either you're the light of the world or you're being pulled down by darkness.
The world is filled with many many things you wouldn't want to know. I'm pretty sure everybody realizes this when you start going college, university or even when you step into the world of the working life. It's different. It's not so easy like what you say or think. It's the opposite of every single thing.
The bible is real. The world is filled with emptiness, despair, sorrow, pain and temptations. All these different type of things draw you and tie you up and you will be trapped even though it's volumptious. You might want more and more of these different stuff, but, at the end of the day, you'll get nothing. What's left of one is pain, sorrow and any other negative things one can think of.
I need to confess. I'm not a good christian. I did so many evil things many do not know about and I'm hiding from my true self each and every day. It's tough. It's pain in the ass. Worse come to worse, I'm in this industry where temptations lead you further in and it draws you and kills you. Luckily, I must say, I still have God. No matter how bad I am, God is still very graceful to me and very merciful. From heaven above, I know, God is still watching over me and taking me through every single broken glass path that I'm facing.
I'm a hypocrite. Again, I'm not a good christian.
Thank God, by God's grace, He has been there for me the whole time through.
Thank you, J! You are my one and only best friend...
To others out there, remember the story "Footprints in the sand." It's a beautiful poem. Just continue to hang on and cling tight to the very truth. Trust me, it will lead you very far. Very very far indeed.
=) Cheers!
Semper Fedelis
JayTee